Last Wednesday afternoon, a recruiter I know was suggesting that it is terribly wrong to be deceitful as part of the process of sourcing names and poaching talent. She wagged her finger at me and said, “You scallywag! Suggesting that recruiting and names sourcing is like sales and prospecting is true, but only up to the point that a recruiter would never lie.” Being a salesman before lying my way into the recruiting profession I thought to myself, “You moron”, but in the interests of polite conversation I said, “Well, I guess you’re right, Mavis.”
This recruiter then proceeded to inform me that the whole business of recruiting has become corrupt. Resumes aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on – full of lies, half-truths and misrepresentations. Hiring managers? They are brazen liars too, especially sales managers and particularly those in advertising and media. To illustrate the point about hiring managers, she cited several instances where she was told that a strong candidate didn’t cut the mustard when clearly, if the manager had taken a moment to read the (heavily censored) resume, an interview – a hire even – would most certainly have been the result. No doubt about it.
Now, I cannot say whether it is right or wrong to lie but I can tell you that The Good Book – as far as I know – makes no mention of lying being a damnable offense. I notice toward the end of the Ten Commandments, almost as an afterthought perhaps, it says, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”, but this is a highly specialized form of lying and is only occasionally encountered during reference checking and exit interviews. So, this rarely applies to me anyway. I’m in the clear.
So let’s see if you and I can have an honest conversation about lying and the role it plays at most every level of recruiting. But before we do – and I confess it here – I am an accomplished liar. I lie pretty much every day, sometimes casually, sometimes deliberately and sometimes through my peroxide-whitened plug-in teeth.
I have developed a pretty good knack for looking someone in the eye and telling them real whoppers, even to the point of making the story so outrageous they’re bound to think, “Wow! That’s kind of hard to believe,” but they go ahead and believe it anyway. Ask anyone who’s met me, I’m so plausible in person.
I am an accomplished liar, that’s true. And I suspect you are one too, so good perhaps that you fall into the category of the “unconscious competent” maybe? I guess I should explain myself before you start getting all unbalanced and permanently boycott this otherwise honest blog.
If you will, listen in on this sales interview:
Recruitomatic: “So, Rizzo, tell me: under what circumstances would you lie to a client?”
Rizzo: “Never. I would never lie to anyone.”
Recruitomatic: “Not even to a loved one.”
Rizzo: “To a loved one? No, never to a loved one.”
Recruitomatic: “Interesting, Rizzo, interesting. Confucius said: ’It is better to tell a lie and create harmony in the world in the world than to tell the truth and create discord‘. Would you agree or disagree?”
Rizzo: “No, I totally disagree. I don’t tell lies. Never have. Never will.”
Recruitomatic: “Good. That’s what I like to hear. Rizzo, tell me, do you have children?”
Rizzo (beaming): “Sure a little girl – she’s four. My wife and I are expecting a baby boy in a couple of months. We’re very, very excited!”
Recruitomatic: “Lovely, lovely. Rizzo, can you think of the most embarrassing thing your daughter has ever asked you? I mean like, ‘Wow, where did that come from?’ ”
Rizzo (reflecting affectionately): “Well, actually yes. She, er, asked me how the baby got in Mommy’s tummy.”
Recruitomatic: “It’s a womb, Rizzo. But, anyway, you said…”
Rizzo (loosening his tie): “Well, I told her to ask Mommy. I couldn’t tell her, you know, well, er, you know. How are you going to tell your little four-year-old-sweetie-pie, you know, you…you know, did that to her mommy, and all. You know, I mean, er…Geez! Are all of your interviews like this? I thought this was an interview for advertising sales!”
Recruitomatic: “Kids! They’re so far advanced these days, aren’t they?”
Rizzo (bemused): “Right.”
Recruitomatic: “Santa Clause? Tooth Fairy?”
Rizzo: “Huh?”
Recruitomatic: “Santa Clause? Tooth Fairy? Do they exist, Daddy?”
Rizzo: “Well, er, she’s my princess, what am I going to say? I couldn’t burst my baby’s bubble like that.”
Recruitomatic: “So, now we have established that you might, indeed, lie to your loved ones, under what circumstances would you lie to a client?”
Rizzo: “Mr. Recruitomatic, sir. I don’t get it! Letting her believe in Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy, you know, not spoiling it for her, that’s not really lying is it?”
Recruitomatic: “Do Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy exist? Yes or no? Okay, well, let’s move on –“(lying of course) “I have 4:00 PM conference call that I simply can’t be late for. Now, what are your salary requirements?”
Now, you can either take my word for it, or go to the research, but most child psychologists would agree that by the age of four, the majority of well-adjusted children have developed the innate ability to lie – lie through their milky-little teeth. Little boys lie to cover up their transgressions. Little girls lie to get their own way. Our adorable and lovable, genetically superior kiddy-winks can’t help lying because it comes to them so easily. In fact, the experts will tell you that lying is a developmental milestone for decent folk because it is only through deception and lying that a child can enter the space of free moral choice and moral responsibility. In other words, develop the potential to become exceptionally good recruiters.
My point? That unless we recognize that lying is a normal – albeit tricky – communication strategy, as professionals committed to the highest possible standards, we cannot begin to control it – for better or worse, we can’t! Recruiters do it, candidates do it, hiring managers do it, too. Marketers do it, salespeople do it, mommies do it, daddies do it. Hell, even American President’s do it, right? The funny thing is, the first step to becoming a “brutally” honest person, transcending the need to lie to get what you want, is getting over the biggest lie of all – the denial that you might just do it every now and then too.
So, take your pick: harmony or discord, truth or lie. I for one couldn’t look myself in the mirror knowing I had given a hiring manager a resume – at best an exaggeration of the truth – with the post-it note: “Check this dude out. He looks like the real McCoy.” I’d rather say, when he asks me how I got the names I just sourced for him, “Don’t ask.” Not because I had to lie to get them – truly I didn’t – but because if I told him the truth as to how I did get them, he’d never believe it could be done. I’m just that good. Honestly, I am.
This post was originally published on July 13, 2006 on Your HR Guy’s blog as part of the Recruiting.com Blog Swap.
This business about lying is a flash-point spark that takes most discussion strings down in flames in no time flat. You watch - most people won’t weigh in on this because the “never lied - never will” contingency will come swooping in to cover this smoking subject with their broad leathery wings. I often wonder why.
I applaud your courage for tackling this subject head on. It’s an important topic and, as ususal, you’ve gone right to the heart of the matter on the developmental thing. People ask me all the time, “Do you have to lie when you’re names sourcing?” I tell them “No, you don’t have to do anything. In most instances, about half the time you simply ask for the information you’re seeking you will be rewarded with the answer.”
Those are pretty good odds, wouldn’t you think? Now ask me if lying has a place in names sourcing (or in many other life venues). Absolutely it does - the fact of the matter is that many telephone names sourcers were encouraged (trained) at the outset of their careers to lie, and to lie BIG. What happens, it seems, in the natural course things take in life, is that some of them were made so uncomfortable by the process, but still loved the intrinsic value of the work, that they were challenged, in their own psyches, to develop techniques where they don’t “have to” lie. That’s development, in my way of thinking.
Thanks Amitai for opening this discussion. I will be more than happy to contribute, if ‘n you want the likes of me muddying these waters, that is!
Maureen Sharib
Telephone Names Sourcer
513 899 9628
The way we see it, Boycott Recuiters - Head Hunters
You were never needed and will never be needed.
Maureen he didn’t tackle it head on. Lying to your toddler about sex is not the same as lying to a candidate, client or anyone else in the recruiting process, especially if the lie can do them harm.
Great post, forgive me if I don’t apply to be interviewed by you!! It sounds tough… (honest guv)
Recruiting Animal:
The purpose of the interview/discourse was to a) disprove the “I never lie” assertion that most people make; and b) that under any given circumstance, we would all lie, often without thinking twice about it.
You may have also missed the point that until we can acknowledge that we are all hard-wired to lie we may not be able to strive for honesty and “truthiness” in our daily walk, strive for excellence in recruiting.
What is your position on lying? Do you do it routinely? Have you ever done it? As part of your recruiting process? Can you tell the truth all the time, under every circumstance? Do you? Would you even want to?
Come on, ‘fess up.
Amitai
Ami, again, another great post.. As usual you do outdo yourself..
Would like to clarify something to those who asked… It was Not I who Ami had this conversation with..
Karen
Just Say No: As you don’t identify who the “we” or “I” is/am I’m going to pass your ridiculous statement by.
“The only thing we really have to bring to community is ourselves, so the contemplative, introspective process of recovering (or uncovering) our true selves is not only not selfish, but it is ultimately the best gift we have to offer and share with others. “~ Parker Palmer
Peter: I’d love to hear your thoughts! (Or is it just too “tough” a subject?)
Animal: This business about lying deserves a lot more discussion than the “first defensive thought that comes into my head - knee jerk reply that asserts my innocence” that is the common fare dished out daily on the subject. (I’m NOT talking about you.) I think Ami DOES approach this thing head on. I also think there’s a lot of disservice and misunderstanding being served up because people are not willing to discuss this controversial subject and think they’re kidding others with their proclamations of unswerving, wholesome honesty. Most tragically, they’re fooling themselves. Or are they? Only we know the contents of our own hearts.
“When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. ” Epictetus
Maureen
My question to all you recruiters is, “What is gained by lying to your candidates or lying to your hiring managers?”
Is it money in your pocket, or is it a strong match between candidate and company? Does your lying help anybody in the long run or does it simply make your day-to-day job easier?
I think Ami is arguing against a bit of a straw man. I don’t think there are as many “never ever lie” people out there as he asserts, and arguing with those that do does nothing to advance the knowledge of the reasonable people who understand the difference between “lying” and “telling your daughter there is a Santa Claus.”
But how does lying to a candidate accomplish anything? Do you tell the candidate that the company has great morale when it doesn’t? Do you tell the company that the candidate is a deep thinker when she actually makes her decisions from the gut? What kind of lies are you telling? And not as a parent, but as a professional?
Kyle:
You credit with me with having more intelligence than I do, otherwise I would not have had to google “straw man”…
“A straw man argument is a logical fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent’s position. To “set up a straw man” or “set up a straw-man argument” is to create a position that is easy to refute, then attribute that position to the opponent. A straw-man argument can be a successful rhetorical technique (that is, it may succeed in persuading people) but it is in fact misleading, because the opponent’s actual argument has not been refuted.”
…to realize I have to assure you that my argument is not fallacious. Rather it is based on years of observation, experience and, dare I say it, training. Selling and recruiting are very similar professions in that they require the sales of goods and services – candidates and placements – and often it is easier to take the path of least resistance and tell lies than acknowledge that lying serves no “higher” purpose – like advancing the employer brand. Also, as “second nature,” we often lie without doing it consciously. When the fact that we have lied is drawn to our attention – like children do – we automatically deny it, or – as adults do – rationalize it.
Your question to recruiters “why lie?” is a straw man is it not?
“A straw man “argument” is a bogus, distorted or deliberately flawed interpretation of an otherwise valid position that has been altered so it can be more easily attacked, delegitimized and disassembled (hence the straw man metaphor) before the eyes and ears of an otherwise impartial audience unfamiliar with the facts and history of an issue or case.”
Or, perhaps Maureen’s assertion that the majority will find this topic too contraversial to debate is true, or that many readers are not an “impartial audience unfamiliar with the facts and history of the issue or case.”
Amitai
First, I’m not sure that asking a question equals an argument.
Second, I don’t think this is a controversial topic at all, at least, in the way, to reasonable and curious people, no topic is controversial. I’m simply asking the question: “Why lie?”
Third, you’re saying what, exactly? That recruiters lie because 1) it’s easy to, or 2) because they don’t know how to do anything else? And so the point of your post is what? Intended to silence the self-righteous who claim never to lie? Shouldn’t the point of your post been to explain why recruiters lie, rather than reveal that they do, which is about as surprising as the fact that politicians lie?
If lying doesn’t achieve some purpose for the recruiter (other than making one’s job easier), and if telling the truth achieves some other purpose (like improving the quality of hires), then why would a qualified professional, a professional who deserves her position as an ambassador for the company, why would such a professional choose to lie over telling the (perhaps difficult) truth? Wouldn’t a recruiter who was committed to authenticity be more valuable to a company? Wouldn’t that recruiter bring in people who had a better understanding of the company’s situation, and thus be more prepared to improve it?
It’s not a question of whether lying is good or bad, in a moral sense. It’s a question of whether lying works to achieve a desired result, and a question of what that desired result is.
Sure, a lying recruiter may bring in more candidates, but an authentic recruiter would bring in better candidates, and at the end of the day, isn’t that their job?
Hey, Ami, I lie just like everyone else. In a popular book called the Conquest of Happiness, Bertrand Russell cleared the air by saying that any decent person would lie if the Gestapo asked her if she knew the location of someone they were after. That doesn’t mean that every lie is valid. And that’s what I gathered from your posting.
I don’t know anyone who lies to candidates or clients but you can find lots of complaints about it online. The reason to get them to take a look at candidates or companies they would not otherwise be interested in.
Now, when you call into a company and ask for someone, that’s another thing entirely , because as a recruiter, what you do is confidential so you can’t always tell everyone who you are. I can’t for instance call Kyle at work and when the receptionist asks for my identity, tell her I’m his headhunter, and he’s got an interview at 2 o’clock.
Kyle: “Shouldn’t the point of your post been to explain why recruiters lie, rather than reveal that they do, which is about as surprising as the fact that politicians lie?”
No, you’ve got it wrong. The point - again - is that until we can acknowledge lying is a default behavior and that we all do it, we cannot transcend that to become exceptional. Really, it’s that simple.
Animal: How you concluded that I am suggesting every lie is valid leaves me befuddled. How could you possibly draw that conclusion? Honestly - because I sense you don’t always - did you read the whole thing through?
I refer you both to the last two paragraphs. Does that answer it for you?
Amitai
Okay, Ami, let’s say we’ve acknowledged that recruiters lie. Bam. Done. Recruiters lie. Okay.
Now what?
Kyle - is this a test?
The only time we reach perfection in life is in a resume. Do we lie? To a purist yes. To me it’s more you accent the positive down play the negative. As an example you don’t say you work somewhere or had a title you didn’t. But maybe you emphasize your role on a team. SO I tell the truth as I wish to remember it because telling a lie out of whole cloth is hard to keep straight.
Rich Goldberg
Lawrence Personnel
rgoldberg@lawrencepersonnel.com
Okay, I have watched this for a while, and have kept my comments to myself. Many who know me will realize this is difficult.. but okay, I gotta say something.
There is indeed a difference between the harmless lie to help keep one’s children innocent, or your friend happy from direct outright damaging or destructive misrepresentation business misrepresentation..
One can land you in federal courts the other may have someone giving you flowers and a kiss - with a thanks so much mommy..
Lying does not belong in business. In any shape way or form. Lying to candidates or clients doesn’t just hurt your business, and reputation but can affect the lives of individuals and the welfare of companies.
One does Not EVER have to lie either to gain information, source, recruit, or any aspect of the Recruiting Process. I have never lied in my tenure as a recruiter. Okay, I take that back, tried it once on the suggestion of a friend, didn’t like it, felt uncomfortable and ended up telling the truth..
Never understood the reasoning behind the ruse call when there are more legitimate ways to gain information.
Yes, Ami, this is great post, and does make one think, okay, so I fibbed to my kids.. but when I think of what I do for a living. How every call that I make can impact the life of an individual, their families lives… How the wrong candidate can hurt a company tremendously (Tyco comes to mind) then I realize that this job is MORE than Sales.. it is more than just presentation of Names on a piece of paper..
This job is about Humans, we deal with People, and I wonder if that is why there is a Human in Human Resources.. We have more power to destroy than we give ourselves credit for..
And for sure, lying does not belong in this industry.. Is there also any wonder that the FTC, BBB, and SBA all have pages set up on how to deal with Recruiters.. of all the industries in the world, they choose to have pages about Us..
Makes me think.. what about you..
Karen Mattonen
Fantastic point, Karen! I especially like the idea that “recruiting is MORE than Sales” because the effect is not on a wallet or on a corporate budget, but on individuals who have to live with the choices made because of a lie.
Thanks for not keeping your comments to yourself
Karen, I don’t think lying is being advocated here as “belonging” in business - I think the idea that is being advanced here is that lying IS in business and it serves a function in business - whether people want to see it or not - it serves as a baseline for behavior and understanding its “place” and its ramifications are critically important.
Lying has its purpose - if only to show itself for what it is, and for what it is not. “Having a place” and “belonging” are apples and oranges and construing the two words as meaning the same thing does not serve this discussion fairly.
You asked me to think about this…
Maureen
I love the way a thread can take on its own direction but when it goes off on a misreading of the post I guess at some point someone has to say, “Guys, could you be missing the point?”
I am not defending, rationalizing, justifying or promoting lying. I’m simply suggesting that until we can acknowledge that we do it, it happens, we may not be able to adopt a position of truthfulness in our dealings as a matter of course, as a matter of pride, in pursuit of excellence. I concede that it easier to lie when you realize it is just a default communications strategy – and it is – or a device for manipulation that we all carry around in our personal and professional tool box. It’s a part of human biology. Coming to terms with this condition – as I suggest in the post – is a step in the right direction for developing an ethical approach to business.
Amitai
Ami,
Yeah, wasn’t there a game in school we used play - 10 kids in a line, whisper something in their ear, and by the time it got done the chain it was distorted?
You mentioned developing an ethical approach to business. In the recruiting industry there will always be a problem regarding ethics and standards, if there continues to be no barriers to entry. What I mean by barriers is Certification, accredidation, fees, something to retard entry.
Today, with the low barriers anyone, and I mean ANYONE can be a recruiter. All one needs is a pocket full of change, a telephone and presto, you can call yourself a recruiter. Gee, a license - feggetaboutit, education/knowledge about recruiting standards -feggeataboutit.
Recently I was joking, you know what the legal/mortgage/insurance/financial industries would be like without self regulation — the recruiting industry..
Yes, I do come down on the industry and quite a bit. It is a shame that people can have so much power, and privvy to so much privacy information.. Yes, Ami, private information.. There are many of us who will get social security numbers as TPR’s, and the staffing world, that of course is power of the course..
Yet, bring up conversations on ETHICS and LAWS in this industry, and gee, the Hammer will come down on you! All of a sudden you will be labled the Ethics police, the Detractor! Argument’s are made about ethics are personal, subjective, objective..Yeah, I know, ’cause that hammer comes down hard on me, every time I push these topics..
I recently received an email from someone who mentioned that all they learnt from their boss was how to be unethical, to lie and be dishonest.. Yes, that is pretty much a form of many of the emails I recieve actually from people who are having problems sleeping at night, and want to learn a better way, but they don’t know where to get that information.
Less than 3 percent of this industry belong an industry association Ami, and even less even know who our oldest and most noted associations are. Which means Ami, they came into this industry w/o being aware of the Standards of this industry. The standards which promote ethical welfare, goodwill to themselves, other recruiters, and of course our clients and applicants.
This is indeed a good post, a great post, and as Maureen Said, many will be scared of approaching, because they themselves don’t want that Hammer to come down on them.. gee, who wants to go through the Hell that I went through last year..
Granted, I put myself through that by continuing to push the postion on knowledge of education, laws, and standards in this industry. I will continue to do so, because I stand my ground, this industry needs to be SELF Regulated.. (no that Does NOT mean Government Regulated. I don’t condone government regulation. Too expensive, and darn if a government official can understand what I do each day! sure won’t want them to tell me how to manage my business)
This industry needs an enema.. for sure! Higher barrier to entry - education and testing should be a requisite.. and by george some type of licensing number, and for goodness sake a board of ethics… and if we don’t do it ourselves, well the Government may just come back and do it for us Again.. (NJ is already trying to cleanse there)
Ah, I ramble as usual, but this is my hot button Ami.. it is as I watch people disregard the word Privacy, confidential, and believe that it is a second nature to lie, and damage reputations, trust, and bring disorder into companies or peoples lives.. All for the mighty dollar.
I close with this.. my husband joked one day and said a man can be killed in America for 100 bucks, get the job done well for 1000, well he said what do you think a person would do for the average fee of a recruiter.. 15-20K.. Especially if there is Nothing, or Anyone who is overseeing their actions?
I echo what Kyle said.. is there a solution? Can we discuss that then! ’cause the conversation of ethics in this industry hits walls.. big, high, thick concrete walls.. the same walls that the unethical behavior is driving us ethical individuals businesses into..
This is my truth, what is Yours?
Please forgive my post.. but I meant NY not NJ.. where Spitezer - “Frustrated that so many companies in New York State pay less than the minimum wage, Attorney General Eliot Spitzer announced a new strategy yesterday to attack the problem: sue the employment agencies that steer thousands of workers into these low-paying jobs each year”
.
He has been very active in proceeding with several lawsuits against employment and recruiting firms this year alone also focusing on Discrimination issues.