Cheezhead Sticks It To The Man 2

Joel Cheesman posts hates free speech following up on his previous and rather provocative monster is a crap product video starring Jobster chief Jason Goldberg. Joel Cheesman quotes’s very own Rich Teplitsky who is the Director, Global Corporate Communications and who is seeking to have the video suppressed. Golly, isn’t that kind of gulaggy?

I called Rich Teplitsky but he wasn’t there. I called the covering extension and left a message for a delightful sounding Katheryn Burns. I’m sure she’ll call me back, I do hope so. She sounds very professional.

I want to ask whether has accounted for the possibility that if some people take to posting/linking to the video they may have inadvertently created the potential for an altogether different kind of monster to raise its ugly head among the recruiting bloggers, and who knows where?  I mean, what if a lot of people started to post the video, or for neophytes like me, linked to it instead? This thing could get really big, you know, like really horrible. After all, we bloggers are very influential you know, we know crap when we see it. Some of us are well connected too.

Now, many would argue that is not a totally crap product at all. Further reading of the blogs will attest to that, as would millions of satisfied users. But, as Mother used to say, “Handsome is as handsome does” and I’m sure we could say the same about crap behavior too, don’t you?

Anyway, in protest at this heavy-handed nonsense, as soon as I can find it, I am taking my resume down off and posting it up on Joel Cheesman’s answer to every jobseekers prayer—Blogs With Jobs—as soon as I work out how to get it up there.

2 thoughts on “Cheezhead Sticks It To The Man

  1. Reply Julian Nov 4,2006 10:24 am

    Given monsters young age I find it surprising that Monster the ‘disruptor’ is acting here like such a ‘disrupted’ grumpy ol’ fart of a company. It strikes me as rather uncouth. I would love to have seen a positive, we still kick butt and here’s how comment from Monster skillfully rebutting each of Goldberg’s criticisms. That way, there’d be a nice balance to Jason Goldberg’s flogging of the Monster product. Jason was just expressing his opinion after all.

    Perhaps this should be a call to create a new empirical approach and metric to measuring web based crap? It would come in quite handy these days on the blogosphere and in the main stream media alike. There’s a parallel here on a topic that I would say is just as vexing, beguiling, grossly subjective and wholly unsubstantiated as crap – the taste of beer. It’s a bit long but given its landmark status I think it’s worth quoting here in its entirety.

    “Subj: Letter to Miller Company

    A True Story.

    The following is a letter sent to Miller Brewing Company
    earlier this year. Miller’s response is at the end.

    Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I have been a drinker of Miller beer’s for many years
    (actually, ever since that other company donated a big
    chunk of change to Handgun Control Inc. back in the mid

    Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but some time in
    mid-1990 while in Honduras I switched to MGD smuggled up
    from Panama. Now, for nearly six years, I have been a
    faithful drinker of MGD.

    For these past years, I have come to expect certain things
    from Genuine Draft. I expect that whenever I see that
    gold can of MGD, I am about ready to enjoy a great, smooth

    But wait! Sometime around the first of the year, my
    beloved MGD changed colors, so to speak. That familiar
    gold can was no longer gold! Knowing that I am, by nature,
    somewhat resistant to change, I forced myself to reserve
    judgment on the new can design.

    Gradually, I grew to appreciate the new label. That was
    until about May of this year. That was when I discovered
    (empirically) that I really didn’t like the new design.
    Further investigation of the cause of my distress resulted
    in the following observations:

    1. Your cans are made of aluminum.
    2. Aluminum is a great conductor of energy.
    3. Your beer is commonly consumed outside, and thus, the
    container may be exposed to sunlight.
    4. Sunlight striking the can causes radiant warming
    of the surface of the can.
    5. The resultant heat (energy) is transferred through the
    aluminum, by conduction, to the contents of the can
    (the beer).
    6. Warm beer sucks.

    This is a process that can be observed in just about any
    beer. However, this process is significantly accelerated
    in MGD because you painted the damn can black!!!

    Who was the rocket scientist that designed the new graphic
    for the can and implemented the change right before summer?
    Granted, this process may not be real evident up there in
    Wisconsin, but down here in Oklahoma where the summers are
    both sunny and hot, this effect is quite a problem. There’s
    no telling what the folks in Texas and Arizona are having
    to put up with.

    Knowing that you would probably not address this issue unless
    you had firm evidence of a problem, I and several other
    subjects conducted extensive experimentation. The results
    of these experiments are listed below.

    The experiments were conducted over two days on the deck next
    to my pool. The study included seven different types of beer
    (leftovers from a party the previous weekend) that were
    initially chilled to 38 (and then left exposed to sunlight
    for different lengths of time. These beers were sampled by
    the test subjects at different intervals. The subjects, all
    normally MGD drinkers, were asked at each sampling interval
    their impressions of the different beers. The length of time
    between the initial exposure to sunlight and the point where
    the subject determined the sample undrinkable (the Suckpoint)
    was determined. The average ambient temperature for the
    trials was 95 degrees F.

    Beer Type Average Suckpoint (min)
    Miller Lite (white can) 6.2
    Bud (white can) 5.5
    Bud Lite (silver can) 5.2
    Ice House (blue and silver can) 4.4
    Coors Lite (silver can) 4.1
    Miller Genuine Draft (black can) 2.8
    Coors (gold can) 0.1

    It was evident that the color of the can directly correlates
    to the average suckpoint, except for Coors which was pretty
    much determined to suck at any point.

    It is to be hoped that you will consider re-designing your
    MGD cans. All beer drinkers that are not smart enough to
    keep their beer in the shade will thank you.


    Bradley Lee

    Miller Brewing Company’s response to the letter sent in by
    Bradley Lee.

    Dear Bradley Lee,

    Thank you for your letter and your concern about the MGD
    can color as it relates to premature warming of the contents.
    Like you, we at Miller Beer take beer drinking very seriously.
    To that end, we have taken your letter and subsequent
    experiment under serious consideration. Outlined below are
    our findings and solution to your problem. May we add that
    we have had similar letters from other loyal beer drinkers,
    mostly from the Southern United States.

    First, let us congratulate you on your findings. Our analysis
    tends to agree with yours regarding Coors. It certainly does
    suck at about any temperature.

    Now, it was our intention when redesigning the MGD can to
    create better brand identity and brand loyalty. Someone in
    marketing did some kind of research and determined we needed
    to redesign the can. You will be pleased to know, we have
    fired that idiot and he is now reeking havoc at a pro-gun
    control beer manufacturer. The design staffer working in
    cahoots with the marketing idiot was also down-sized. How-
    ever, once we realized this mistake, to undo it would have
    been even a bigger mistake. So, we took some other actions.
    From our market research, we found a difference between
    Northern beer drinkers and Southern beer drinkers.

    Beer drinkers in the South tend to drink slower than beer
    drinkers in the North. We are still researching why that
    is. Anyway, at Miller Beer, it was never our intentions
    to have someone take more than 2.5 minutes to enjoy one of
    our beers. We pride ourselves in creating fine, smooth,
    quick drinking beers and leave the making of sissy, slow
    sipping beers to that Sam guy in Boston.

    However, it is good to know that you feel our Miller Lite
    can last as long as 6 minutes. However, may we suggest
    in the future you try consuming at least two in that time

    From your letter, we had our design staff work ’round the
    clock to come up with a solution that would help not just
    MGD but all our fine Miller products. We hope you have
    recently noticed our solution to your problem. We found
    that the hole in the top of the can was not big enough for
    quick consumption. So, we have now introduced the new
    “Wide Mouth” cans. We hope this will solve all your
    problems. Might I also suggest that if you want to get
    the beer out of the can even faster, you can poke a hole
    on the side near the bottom, hold your finger over it,
    open the can, tip it to your mouth and then pull your
    finger off the hole. This is a common way to drink beer
    at parties and impress your friends. This technique is
    known as “shot-gunning”. You should like the name.

    Again, thank you for your letter and bringing to our
    attention that there might be other beer drinkers taking
    more that 2.5 minutes to drink our beers. Let me assure
    you that I am have our advertising department work on a
    campaign to solve this problem, too.


    Tom B. Miller Public Relations Miller Brewing Co.

    P.S. And remember, at Miller Beer we do favor gun control,
    too. So please use two hands when firing. “

  2. Reply Maureen Sharib Nov 17,2006 7:49 am

    Hey Ami – are you on vacation? I miss your pointed pirouettes.

    Maureen Sharib
    Telephone Names Sourcer
    513 899 9628

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